Often we say any relation is based on mutual needs and thus must fulfil them. Many of my friends say that love can not be one way. Even as a mother you expect your child to give back in some form. Children approach you because you meet their needs and end of the day you need them. Therefore it is two way as in give and take. Pretty much the economics principle of '"there is no such thing as free lunch and thus the mutual give and take is the predominant aspect in relations.

NEED vs WANT in relations

However this attribute of need is where we become mutually interdependent. This breeds expectations and thus ego, possession, jealousy and anger issues.The moment our need/expectation is not met we develop negativity within. Hence eventually, the relationships have those highs and lows and often collapse. This is why, many gurus say that relationships are the most variable aspect of human life and need constant monitoring and nurturing.

The problem is in the understanding of the word "need based vs want based" relationships.

There are two ways of looking at it.

One if we make it mutually interdependent. For example a child stays with parents because he needs them or you continue to stick to your partner coz you need him/her or he/she needs you. This need could be explicit- physically, financially, mentally or emotionally.

Another is you stay with your family, not because you or they need you but because you WANT to be with them, for the joy of togetherness. However, if they are not around, you are still connected and happy. There is no mutual expectation or contact on regular basis.Yet when you contact, you connect and start from where, you had left.

Real eternal relationship is actually in type two. The core reason for its sustainability is, the FAITH in MUTUAL LOVE and RESPECT. Yes, there is a sense of need, in the second type too, as in, the need of joy. But here you CHOOSE to be with someone ...WANT to be with someone. NO not for any need or expectation but for the pure sense of joy.You love the other being, purely for his/her BEING not for the expectations, they meet for you.

This is the highest order of LOVE.... LOVE FOR PURE JOY. LOVE THAT RADIATES LOVE, LOVE THAT SURRENDERS EGO, JEALOUSY, POSSESSION,ANGER AND GIVES YOU FREEDOM, TO BE YOU!

Hindu mythology examples? RADHA, SHABRI, MEERA...This Era....(IMROZ-Amrita Pritam?)